Kanda had a headache
by Nekouyoku
Summary: Kanda can't remember why Lavi is in his bed! Lavi explains Komui's crazy idea for St. Patrick's Day. Lavi x Kanda. Tyki x Allen if you squint. Rated "T" for Kanda's dirty mouth.


Warning: Intimate scene in a net...for half a second.

Characters, as much as I love them, all belong to Katsura Hoshino. Otherwise, Kanda would be shorter.

Kanda x Lavi mostly, but Tyki x Allen if you squint. A lot.

Enjoy.

* * *

Kanda had a headache.

That's the first thing he noticed when he woke up. His head was trying to split itself in half.

The second thing he noticed was that there was someone else in his bed with him.

He didn't know who it was, because he had refused to open his eyes for the past minute or so. He was trying to remember what the hell had happened last night.

He couldn't.

So, his current situation; He had a hangover and an unknown person in his bed. Joy.

He reluctantly opened his eyes, and grimaced as even the small amount of light in the room caused his head to throb. Then he glanced over.

"Usagi?" he groaned, seeing a mess of red hair inches from his face. The hair turned.

Sure enough, one hazy eye blinked back at him. "Oh, good morning, Yuu," Lavi greeted, smiling drowsily. Kanda remained unfazed.

"Why," he mumbled, thinking he may regret the answer, "are you in my bed?"

Lavi stared at him for a moment. Then he grinned.

"Oh, you don't remember?" he snickered, seeming rather pleased. Kanda attempted to glare at him, but it most likely wasn't all that menacing considering he was still half asleep and his head still hurt like hell.

"If I did, would I be asking?" he growled. Lavi shrugged.

"I don't suppose so," he said.

They were silent for a moment.

"Are you going to tell me?" Kanda asked. The redhead grinned.

"Yeah, okay," he said, "Well…"

* * *

It all started when you came into the cafeteria for lunch yesterday. (Well, yeah, I remember this part; you don't have to explain--) Shush, Yuu, I'm telling a story here. (Che…) Well, so it turns out you were just a little bit earlier than Komui.

And I'll tell you what; Komui was bored as all hell yesterday. All the rain and stuff was getting him down…I mean, who ever heard of a rainy St. Patrick's Day? Not to mention none of the science department was letting him celebrate at all, because they had so much work to do. They took all of his toys away from him, too, so he wouldn't build some sort of huge green Komurin. (Oh, so they're not complete idiots, after all…)

So Komui dressed up all in green and decided to mope around the kitchen for a while and have a chat with Jeryy to get away from work. (Could you get to the part that I _can't_ remember?) Shh, patience, I'm almost there. Well, Komui was chatting away with Jeryy, and the subject of Irish hot chocolate came up. (Seriously, what does that have to do with anything?) Oh, Yuu, it has _everything_ to do with it. Don't you know what Irish hot chocolate is? (…) Oh, I see. Well, it's hot chocolate with Irish cream in it. (…) You don't know what _that_ is, either? It's got whiskey in it, don'cha' know. (Che…)

Alright, well, so they got into a conversation about that, and after a while Komui decided that he might as well try some. (Huh? Komui doesn't drink, does he?) What? No, of course not, this was a special circumstance. And besides, it was only a little bit. Now, stop interrupting me, Yuu, or else we'll never get to the interesting part.

Jeryy, being the culinary genius that he is, of course knew how to make one, so he got out a little cup, (How do you know all this?) Shhh, Yuuuuu. (Argh.) and proceeded to mix a drink.

Of course, he doesn't usually make drinks, as you can imagine, and it was an honest mistake that he grabbed the _wrong bottle of Irish cream. _And it was a lot more Irish than it was cream. (And how does this relate to me?) Ah, well, you see…

This particular Irish cream was rather clear. Like water, sa. And, well, Jeryy had a bit too, so he was a bit ditzy when a certain someone asked for soba for lunch. (…) Yeah, see, part of the water he cooked the noodles in wasn't really water. (…)

Haha, you didn't even realize, did you, Yuu? (Well, I _thought_ it tasted funny…) Generally, when food tastes funny, you stop eating it. (Che, like I suspected _Jeryy_ of anything.) Ah, yeah… (So, what after that?) I came in. (Shit.) Haha, yeah.

You looked like you were having a bit of a problem with your chopsticks, sa. So I came over to see if you were okay. (Yeah, right.) Haha, okay, you got me. I went over to see whether I would get to pinch you or not. (…what?) You know, if someone's not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day, you get to pinch them. (…Right.) Wow, Yuu, have you been living under a rock your whole life? Eh, well, I suppose that doesn't matter. The story's just about to get interesting.

So it turns out you _weren't_ wearing green, after all, so I pinched you. (Whe--) on your arm, don't worry, and I said something like, "Oh, come on, Yuu, you're such a humbug," and when you didn't snap at me back, I knew something was wrong. (…really?) Yeah, really, it's kind of sad, isn't it? Haha. You're such a sourpuss, Yuu. (…Che. What happened afterwards?) Haha. _Everything_.

* * *

Kanda gulped.

* * *

So, I had a little bite of your soba, just to make sure everything was okay. And, obviously, it wasn't. So, being the concerned, caring person that I am, I went to ask Jeryy if everything was okay…Well, actually, I think my exact words were, "Does anyone in there care to explain why there's whiskey in Yuu's soba?"

And, fortunately, it seems that Jeryy isn't too flaky at holding his alcohol. He told me pretty much everything I just told you, minus the cream's-a-bit-too-Irish part. I kind of figured that out myself, since normal Irish cream definitely wasn't going to make someone _that_ ditzy _that_ fast. (Oh, you would know?) I'm a Bookman, I know _everything_. (Che, right.) I do, though.

But, anyways, after a quick frisk of Jeryy's kitchen, I found our culprit. That is, the bottle of Irish cream. (And, where was I this whole time?)

Ah…actually, I think I left you to your soba.

(You cruel person.)

Eh, look who's talking. Well, after realizing that no one meant you any harm, I decided to just let the whole thing go.

(And that's it?) Uhm...well, not exactly. You see, when I turned to leave, Komui woke up, (When did he fall asleep?) I don't know, he was asleep in the corner when I came in. Okay, so Komui woke up and greeted me with a cheerful, "Happy, St. Patrick's Day," only with a little less infliction and a little more slur, and of course I had to greet him back. And then after a rather awkward pause, I turned to leave again, and he interrupted my exit with, "It's a shame I wasn't allowed to throw a party," or something or the other like that.

(Oh, please don't tell me you got sucked into that.) Oh, well, no, you see...I had _you_ to take care of; I didn't have time for any parties. (Well, obviously, _something_ happened, or else you wouldn't...you know, be _here_...) Ah, yes. Well. You see, when I walked out of the kitchen, Allen was outside the door, desperately wondering where Jeryy was and why he wasn't making food for him right that very moment. So I sort of explained it. A little bit. (You just told him to go and look for himself, didn't you?) No...

Well, yeah, I did. I mean, come on, it's every once in a million years that _you_ get drunk, I wasn't about to miss it for _anything_. (So...it wasn't so much you worrying about me as it is you thought it would be funny?) Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I was a little worried, but...

Anyways, enough with that. The story's not over yet. (When is it _going_ to be over?) Eventually. Hey, hey, _you_ were the one that asked me to tell it. Don't you wanna know what happened? (Well, yeah, but you could be a little more brief about it.) Noooo, then you'd miss all the good parts! (Argh, _fine_.)

So, uhm...Where was I? (You sent Moyashi in to check on Komui.) Oh yeah, oh yeah. Well, so I went over back to yooooou to see how yoooou were doing... (Please tell me I didn't do anything stupid...) Hm...actually, you didn't do much of anything. No matter what I did...Hell, you even let me have some of your soba. (...my infected soba.) Eh, yeah, I guess that wasn't much of a good idea, but...I couldn't resist.

(Okay, more about _why you're in my bed_ now?)

Oh, right, well...The next thing I knew, Komui was hopping around the cafeteria handing out shamrock pins to everyone and Allen was grudgingly following behind him, no doubt wishing he had kept out of the whole thing. At first no one really thought much about it, just gave a slight "thanks" as Komui pranced by...But then everyone pretty much freaked out when the pins started attaching themselves to their clothing. (What...the hell.)

Yeah, it was pretty strange. And then, as expected, Komui started cackling evilly like he does sometimes. Everyone looked over in shock. Even Allen. (So, even Moyashi had no idea what was going on?) Evidently not. (Yet he was still helping...?) Uh, I think it would be more surprising if he _did_ know what was going on...but...

(So what were the pins for?) Ah, yes, well....at this point, I was kind of hating the science department for not letting Komui celebrate. Because, well, since they didn't...He decided he'd come up with his "_own_ celebration". (I'm starting to think I'm fortunate not to remember what happened...) Oh, no, I'm sure someone got pictures. (...what?) Haha, just kidding. (...I hate you.)

So, this was Komui's crazy idea. "Well," he said, or at least something like this. I was more worried at the fact there were robots guarding all the exits, "My dear little underlings at the science department decided that they weren't going to let me celebrate St. Patrick's Day with everyone..." of course, at this point, Reever was about to say something, but Komui started talking again before he could, "So I made up my own celebration! It's a contest, and I'm sure all of you will have lots of fun!"

And then someone, I think it was Buzz...you remember Buzz, don't you? (Yes, I remember Buzz...) Well, someone spoke up. They said, "What if we don't want to play?" and then...Komui...it's hard to explain. He looked a bit demented.

"Well, there's an incentive," he said, "those pins won't come off until you win one of the games I have lined up. And if you try to escape with the pins still on you..." he pointed to one of the robots guarding the door, "They will mutilate you with a chainsaw. Oh, and same for any of you Exorcists who plan on activating your Innocence to get out of here."

And I could have _sworn_ he looked _right_ at us...of course, I was about to pull Oudzuchi Kodzuchi out before he said that, so maybe he saw...But, whatever.

(...Komui is a terrible person.) Well, yeah, when he's drunk...or doesn't get enough sleep...He's really rather frightening. (Yeah...so...how...did the games go?)

Ah, well, there was one more rule, actually. He said that the last person left out of everyone has to sleep on the roof...And that if you refused to participate in certain games, he'd make you sleep in the doghouse outside. (What? There's a doghouse?) Yeah....I've never seen it before, I think he might have been hallucinating. Haha. (Hn...right...so, what were these games?)

Hm....I think there were four...? Let's see, there was poker, (Oh, I bet Moyashi loved that...) an eating contest, (I bet he loved that, too...) Oh, there was the one where Komui was dressing up people like leprechauns. That wasn't much of a game, but...Haha... (What's so funny about that?) Nuthin'. Oh, and then there was a little trivia, I think...

Okay, well, so people played these games in cycles. Actually, it was a pretty smooth system for _just_ being made up...I have a hunch Komui had been planning this for a while, actually...so, Komui split the cafeteria up into four sections, one for each game...and to Allen's disappointment, he had to play, too. He was in our group, actually...Which I thought was a bit unfortunate at first, but it didn't really turn out to be _that_ bad...

So, we all got sent to the poker thing first. (Ah, lemme guess. Moyashi cheated and won against everyone?)

Actually, I made him roll up his sleeves. And his hands are a bit small, so he couldn't palm cards very easily...if he _did_ cheat, I didn't catch him. And I'm pretty sure he didn't. (Hm...so how'd that turn out?)

He still beat all of us. He was the first to leave...see, you had to win five hands to actually "win" and get to leave... (So he's pretty good at poker even when he's not cheating?) Yeah, pretty much...but there was one odd thing that happened. (And what would this be?) Well, you know that Noah with the beauty mark? (The one with the curly hair?) Yeah, that guy.

Well, he showed up in the middle of it.

(What? Seriously? Was anyone hurt?)

Oh, no, see, I think he was drunk. (...you're kidding.) No, seriously. No one saw him come in, but I looked up and there he was, sitting next to Allen and looking pretty woozy. It's kind of funny, 'cause Allen didn't even know he was there until I looked up and said, "Hay Beauty Mark".

Oh, you should have seen his face. It was priceless... (Actually, I think I remember a little of this...)

* * *

Lavi was silent for a moment. Then he shifted himself a little bit, his face turning slightly red.

* * *

Oh...so...you're starting to remember some.... (Not really...I'm just getting a little bit of Noah-themed thoughts here. I don't really remember anything.) Ah, I see...

(Why are you getting so bothered by it?)

Oh, nothing. Anyways...Allen. And the Noah. Honestly, there's nothing much more to say. Everyone was pretty freaked out at first...Well, except for you. I don't really think you had any idea what was going on. (Che. It wasn't _my_ fault.) Yeah, yeah, I know...But the Noah decided to join in the game. Of course, after Allen won his fifth hand, the Noah just followed Allen out, not having to wear a pin and all... (And...no one was worried for Moyashi?)

Well, not really. I think after hearing that Noah talk for five minutes straight about his idiot brother and hearing him...well, I want to say "giggle", everyone's guard was pretty much down. (...and he went with Moyashi?) Uhm, yeah... (...and has anyone seen them since?) Yeah, kind of. (How much later...?)

So, well, after they left, there was the eating contest. Which had a little surprise to it. (Why are we avoiding the topic of the Noah and Allen?) Because it's none of our business. Now, it turns out some of the stuff in the eating contest was alcoholic. (How can an _eating_ contest have alcoholic stuff? And why would Komui do such a thing?) He...wasn't thinking straight. And some of the things were soaked in wine and stuff, and it hadn't evaporated like _most_ recipes call for...And there were these little chocolate things that had some sort of rum in them, I think. They were pretty good.

(And...how many of these did you have?)

Oh, well...we kind of...had to at least look like we were trying...'cause someone actually had a robot stuffing food into their mouth because they refused to eat. It was pretty brutal...but it stopped after around 30 seconds...and everyone was pretty agreeable after that. (Oh, I see...And...who won?) Ah, some...finder...I think... everything was a bit...well, you know. I can't remember the next couple minutes. (Oh...)

Yeah, but...the next thing...I clearly remember...

* * *

Lavi's face turned bright red, although it was clear he was trying to prevent it. Kanda raised an eyebrow in inquiry, but didn't say anything for a moment. The red-faced redhead took a deep breath, and then cleared his throat. Kanda was a bit worried. What could possibly be so bad...?

* * *

Well, I remember us talking for a bit, you know, cause we had some time for some reason. And we were planning an escape. I'm pretty sure the plan wasn't all that great, us being drunk and all...but...

I know it didn't work, that's for sure. Because I remember being snapped out of my buzz from the sheer terror of being chased around with a chainsaw.

(...That doesn't sound pleasant.)

No, it wasn't. But Komui called it off, thank god.

(Oh...so did we have to keep playing?)

...No.

(...okay...?)

W-Well...Komui kind of caught us in a giant net he had somewhere and then hug us from the ceiling of the pantry. And he closed the door. And it was really dark. And we were really close.

(...I don't like where this is going.)

...Yeah. And. We were kind of...drunk a little...and...

* * *

Lavi stopped, to pull his knees up to his chest. His face was still red, and he was staring pointedly at the bed.

* * *

Kanda blanched.

(D-...did we...in a _net_?)

Well, no, I mean, not all the way. At all. It's just that...

(...)

You smelled _really_ good, Yuu, you know that? And you leaned over, and you...you kissed me. On my mouth.

(W...what?)

Seriously, I'm not kidding, you did. That stuff must have been pretty potent, I'm telling you.

(...and?)

"And" what?

(What did you do?)

Well, I kissed you back, of course. I'm not _that_ rude, come on...

* * *

Lavi laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck and still not looking up. Kanda stayed silent, looking pretty stunned.

* * *

And...er...it kind of...went on for a while, you know. Nothing really...progressed. I mean, there were a couple...uhm...hand-wanderings...but...

(...I see.)

Heh...your face is red, Yuu.

(Che. You're one to talk...)

But you look so _cute_...

(Shut up...)

Haha.

(Well...we're obviously not in the net anymore.)

Oh, yeah. Well, eventually you let off...actually, you cut off right in the middle of something, (You sound disappointed!) oh, be quiet. You fell asleep, you know. And you had _such_ a baby face...

(...)

What's that look for?

(...che.)

Haha. Well, I heard a few loud crashes from somewhere outside, and you slept like a rock, I'm tellin ya', through _everything_. But eventually everyone remembered us and came to rescue us from the net.

(What happened to all the games?)

Oh, well, they explained a little bit to me. Apparently Allen came back with his Noah friend and they succeeded in destroying all the robots, and they got Komui's remote for the pins, too. So in the end everything turned out okay!

(...You still haven't explained why you're in my bed.)

Oh, yeah. Well, in their attempt at destroying the robots, the Noah and Allen kind of...trashed half of the personal quarters...Including _my_ room. So most of the people just got some blankets and slept in the cafeteria, considering it was a rather warm night. But _you_ were gentlemanly enough to offer me a place to sleep.

(...you're kidding.)

Nope. You said. I believe your words were, "Well, Lavi, if you don't have anywhere else to sleep tonight..."

(...I'm such a sap. What the hell.)

Haha. But I love you anyways.

(Don't say that.)

But I _do_...You know, I'm the one that actually _remembers_ the whole net thing...

(...Yeah, so?)

So I wasn't _completely_ out of it.

(...What are you saying?)

* * *

Lavi laughed, and leaned over to kiss Kanda on the cheek.

"That," he said, and then got up out of the bed. "Well, now that you're informed, I'm going to see if there's any chance I might be able to get some breakfast. Care to join me?"

Kanda stared at him for a moment.

"Get out of my room," he groaned. It wasn't particularly spiteful, though. He just seemed a bit exhausted.

Lavi grinned, and blew Kanda a kiss before leaving.

Kanda sat there for a moment, and then laid back down in his bed.

"Damnit," he muttered, "why can't _I _remember that..?"

* * *

Poor Kanda and his memory loss. If he doesn't remember, he should ask for a replay. Hehe.

Yeah. I just sat down one day and wrote this whole thing. Like, the _whole_ _thing. _So it's a bit rushed, I suppose. I don't know, just know that there wasn't a whole lot of planning involved in this.

And I don't know how much of it is pain-killer induced.

R&R if you'd be so kind?


End file.
